December 29, 2008


The last days of the year... days like any other? Yes and no. Of course the clock keeps ticking as fast as always. Of course New Year's Day is just a name on the calendar. Of course changes can be made any day of any year.

Isn't it terrifying to be honest to yourself?

We love some structure, don't we? So an end, or a new beginning, is a convenient moment to look in the mirror. As silly as New Year's resolutions are, it does us no harm to look at our shortcomings and plan to improve our characters and actions. Wikipedia says: "A New Year's Resolution is a commitment that an individual makes to a project or the reforming of a habit, often a lifestyle change that is generally interpreted as advantageous."

Isn't it terrifying to be honest to yourself?

Drag your thoughts away from your troubles. How much time did you waste in 2008 feeling sorry for yourself, how much time did you lose being afraid? How much time did you lose blaming others? I know I lost more than I can even start to explain. It's funny how that defensive wall of excuses always seems so very convenient.

Isn't it terrifying to be honest to yourself?

I'm going to be a father in 2009. I'll move to a new city and buy a new house. I'm hoping to find a new job. It's crystal clear to me that this coming year will spectacularly change everything I know. I'm forced out of my comfort zone and that's a very scary thing. It's also the best thing that can happen to me.

Isn't it terrifying... well, enough of that already. A strange thing has been happening to me lately. Whether it's the approaching fatherhood or just me finally growing up, I have no idea, but I've felt an irresistable urge to leave all the negativity and worries and fear and anger and blame safely in the past. It only does harm.

I do remember this is supposed to be a weblog about pop music. You probably came here to read about a band you like, or about a band you don't know yet but will love in the future. No worries, in 2009 I will keep posts about my personal thoughts limited to an absolute minimum.

Love without getting tired.

Download (Mediafire)
1. David Bowie - Changes
2. The Innocence Mission - Beautiful change
3. Cat Stevens - Moonshadow
4. Bishop Allen - Things are what you make of them


martijn said...

While I started visiting this blog for the music, I now keep coming back to see how you are doing in the first place. And in the second and third place too. The good music is an added bonus, but by no means essential. And I do find your 'personal thoughts' great to read; very well-written on top of that.

So I do hope that between lots of music-posts you will continue to share some of these thoughts with your readers. I moved out of my comfort zone some 30 months ago and while it was quite scary (though mostly so in retrospect), it was the best thing that has happened to me.

Have a lovely year! x

Dimitra Daisy said...

Yeah, what Martijn said. I love your honesty and openness and your willingness to talk about those things. It is refreshing and heart-warming too.

Marianthi said...

It's great reading about all that, Dennis. All I can say is just from reading your posts here and on other places, it seems to me that you're going to find 2009 and every year after it fantastically ace and rewarding and fun. If I'm honest with myself for a change, I'm dead jealous of everyone having babies. It's wonderful.

Dimitra Daisy said...

Marianthi, wait a couple of years and then we can have them together and they can be friends! (I mean together as in 'the same time', not 'together', erm, you know what I mean!)

Pete Green said...

Change is necessary sometimes and you're going into it with exactly the right attitude. Good luck and happy new year. It'll be great!

Dennis said...

Thanks for the support guys. You all have a deservedly lovely year as well!