One night in Phitsanulok

4 years ago

Although it's 8 PM it's still hot and humid at the Bangkok bus station. We've got 390 km ahead of us. It'll be a 7 hour drive to Phitsanulok. We have spent the first three days of our five-week vacation in Bangkok and are ready to travel up North, impressed by the capital city but eager to leave its smell and chaos behind us. We tip our guide for the day and get in the bus.

The first thing I notice is the karaoke TV for entertainment. The second thing I notice is that we're the only tourists. The third thing I notice is that our front row chairs leave no room at all for my legs. It's going to be fun.

"Here we go", I state the obvious. "Yes", my girlfriend says. My girlfriend and I, we've been together for about four years at that point. We don't need a lot of words. We're good together. We love each other so much. We do. We do.

Do we?

A couple of days before our flight from Amsterdam to Bangkok we got the excting news that the appartment that we wanted would be ours by the time we'd come home. Now, while the first hour of our bus trip slowly passes by, I find myself daydreaming about that future. Our future.

"There's a school around the corner", I say. "Nice, for our children." I'm joking, but only a little bit. We've talked about having children, one day. I expect another absent minded "Yes" from my girl. Maybe even a somewhat more interested "Mh hmm". None of that though.

"Dennis", she says. Something in the tone of here voice makes me snap out of my daydreamy state. The bus is dead silent. Even the sound of the karaoke has been turned off now; all you see on the screen are the neatly dressed up Thai people, silently singing while the little ball skips over the undecipherable words. We've got over six hours to go, every minute further from Bangkok. Every minute further from home. Nowhere to go. "I don't want to be with you anymore."


4 weeks ago

The doorbell of our new house in Almere rings. I put my son on my arms and walk towards the door.
"Honey, she's here." My girlfriend walks down the stairs.

"Here we go", I state the obvious. "Yes", my girlfriend says. My girlfriend and I, we've been together for about four years at that point. We don't need a lot of words. We're good together. We love each other so much. We do. We do!

I open the door and look my ex-girlfriend in the eyes. "Hello!"

We have a good afternoon together, all of us.
I look at my ex-girlfriend.
I look at my girlfriend.

"There's a school around the corner", I say. "Nice, for our children."

I look at our son.
I look at my girlfriend.
I look at my ex-girlfriend.

"Thank you," I say.


4 days ago

A colleague of mine mentions her travel plans.
"Thailand. Have you been there?"

Thailand. The most confusing weeks of my life.
The biggest possible heartbreak ever.
Exhausting, in every way.

"Yes. Yes, it's wonderful." I say.

It's brought me nothing but good things.


4 hours ago

The dog barks.

I lie awake in bed.
I turn around.
I turn around again.
The events described above go quickly through my head.

Life is strange. No, actually: life is quite perfect.
People are strange.

Once I start writing the post you're reading now, I already know I'll be my same old sappy self. I just tend to get a bit too sentimental like that. Usually re-reading a piece like this before posting it stops me from actually clicking that 'post' button.

But I thought I'd keep this one.